Butterfly
by ayell
Summary: Draco is like a butterfly, you can lose him just as fast as he had come. But if he returns, how do you know it's him really is still him? (before you get any ideas that I copied this, look inside; wrote a new AN)


**Title: **Butterfly (1/?)

**Author: **ab101

**Rating: **PG-13

**Pairing: **Harry/Draco (of course), Blaise/Ron, Hermione/Pansy

**Summary:** Harry is like a butterfly, you can lose him just as fast as he had come.

**A/N:** Hiya! I'm presently talking to my bestfriend on the phone and annoying her with the title, "We All Burn Sometimes" which I've read in ff.net. I'm actually quite angry at ff.net (even though I'm posting it there) because they deleted my previous account w/o telling me and for no reason whatsoever. So, look at the author's name above, I am ab101, not ab102, when I tried to register it said the pen name ab101 is taken. So I had to write _that_. Hmm…Anyway, I've posted this before but someone said that I copied the storyline of a fic she had read. I e-mailed the author of the fic in question and the author said these exact words (ah, the magic of copy+paste):

Hi! :) Thanks for informing me about your fic. I've read it and I think there's nothing wrong with posting it. I'm glad reading my story gave you some inspiration for writing one of your own.

Happy?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. Never can, never will.

***

Harry faced the sky, his hands supporting the back of his head. He was by the lake, just lying down on his back. Light from the sun was playing on his face as the wind made the trees sway. Harry looked around, admiring everything from the unseen breeze to the bushes filled with flowers. Everything looked so perfect, just that time that you wanted everything to stop and … and you can just – just _feel_ it. Feel the wind on your face, see the sun on your skin and smell the earth underneath you.

Of course, all good things must come to an end. 

Harry heard footsteps coming his way. He jerked his head up to see the one and only Pride of Slytherin looking down at him.

"Hullo, Harry," Draco said, smirking, "nice day?"

"Yup," Harry said, sitting up and brushing bits of grass that got caught in his pants.

"Lunch is about to start," Draco squatted down next to Harry.

"You came here to tell me lunch is about to start?" Harry smiled a bit.

"Oh, of course not! What made you think like _that_?!" Draco's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh, Draco," Harry hit his head playfully.

They had always been like this, just sharing moments, being with each for the sake of being together. They didn't need a reason, if they wanted to see each other, they would.

They were supposed to keep it a secret, so, naturally, the whole school knew. Their reaction was a bit … interesting and varied at the same time. Some students' jaws slacked, some looked like they were about to faint, some were quite rebellious, some just smiled and some accepted it and even said that they made a cute couple.

It was sudden, actually, when they had first noticed their attraction to each other. One minute they were dueling in an empty classroom, next they knew, they were ripping each others' clothes off. Harry guessed it was when Draco had accidentally (but looking back, Harry had his doubts) grabbed his ass.

Since then, they vowed to keep it entirely physical and had still traded insults, during, before, and after Potions Class. But little did everyone know that by the end of the day, when everyone lay down on their beds, these two enemies were ravishing and kissing each other.

Of course, Harry, being Harry, had noticed that he had actually fallen for Draco. Rumor had it that Draco fucked girls one night then forget the existed the next day, so, it was quite obvious that it had broken all the rules of their little game. He discovered this one day when they woke up in each other's arms. It was, once again, one of those perfect moments. He had sneaked a peek at Draco to find his lips deliciously half open, sunlight cascading on his pale features. He woke up then, and they started dressing up. Harry looked at Draco's t-shirt. It was soft, it was beige and it was so… so Malfoy. So Malfoy, actually that it reminded him incredibly of Draco.

"I like this shirt; it reminds me a lot about you."

Draco had looked at Harry from putting on his pants. "Really?" he had said, with a strange smile. "It's yours then."

Yes, the incredible feeling of Draco giving him something that easily had made Harry melt. He was sort of shocked and stammered, he had asked if he was serious, Draco had nodded with a smile. Harry had mentally noted then, that it was _not_ a smirk, but a smile.

Next thing Harry knew, he was very much frequently thinking about Draco. The way his fingers curled, the way his eyes shone, the way his skin slowed in the morning light, the way his arms went around Harry for countless times and the way his tongue flicked when he licked Harry's earlobe sensually.

He knew he should break up with Draco, fast. He didn't want himself or Draco to get hurt. If he stayed with Draco, and willed the feeling to go away, everything would be fine. But it didn't take an Einstein to figure out that it would be a long time before _that_ happened. And by that time, Draco would have been tired of him already. After all, he was just Draco's slut. So he decided he would break up with Draco. And to do that, he asked Draco to meet him again that night. Draco had, he had even been the enthusiastic one.

When they had entered Draco's 'special' room, (or, to understand it easier, the bedroom he took all those he planned to fuck) Draco had told Harry to close his eyes. Harry, with raised eyebrows, did. When Draco said he could open them, in the space in front of him, a blue and purple striped paper bag stood.

"Go on, open it!" Draco had encouraged.

Harry opened it to reveal… lots of tissue. He took out the tissue and in there lay a little red box. He opened it to see a little golden watch with the face shaped like a snitch. It was green, the _face_ was green, the rest was gold and it even flapped it wings whenever it was one o'clock, or two or, you get the idea. Harry was so grateful, tears went down his eyes and he kissed Draco fully, tilting his head to gain full access to Draco's mouth. Harry was happy, he knew Draco was also feeling something for him; you don't just go around giving golden snitch watches to people.

"Wow," Draco had said when they broke the kiss, "I should give you gifts more often if I knew _that_ would be your reaction. Miranda McAllister didn't even have enough _respect_ to at least _pretend_ that _she_ cared when I gave her a diamond ring."

Harry's world fell apart then. "Mi – Miranda McAllister?"

"Oh, yeah," Draco had said dismissively, "she was one girl I fucked sometime ago. Real close to us, pureblood, rich and passing looks, I guess. I guess I'm supposed to marry her. I guess I will, you know?"

They had done the only thing sensible and fucked each other senseless.

Harry was still awake in the wee hours of the morning and the steady breathing of Draco made Harry sure that he was asleep. Harry's eyes were red from crying. One side of his pillow was damp from tears he had leaked for Draco that night. But he had sworn to himself that from then on, he would not – he _could_ not ever cry for Draco. He looked at him, light following a path down his chest. His waist down was covered with the blankets.

Gently, he leaned before him and stroked his arm. "Draco, wake up." He breathed into his ear.

Draco gently woke up, his eyes blinking owlishly at Harry. A smile was dancing on his lips. "Yes?" he yawned.

"I'm breaking up with you." Harry had said this without any proper beginning and he had said this bluntly, it was a fact for him.

"Oh, okay," Draco had replied this without the slightest emotion in his voice; he was still half asleep. There was a slight pause in which what Harry said sank in. "WHAT?!"

"I'm breaking up with you." Harry wasn't looking at Draco, he had looked outside. He didn't know why he couldn't look at Draco whilst saying this, he knew Draco wouldn't care in the slightest, there would be no tears in his eyes, and it would betray none but the fact that he had dismissed this without caring. Maybe he hadn't wanted Draco to see the tears in _his_ eyes. His look outside the window was with small eyes, as if squinting. As if he were looking for a sign from outside if this was right…or wrong. Suddenly, as thought answering him, a butterfly flew in and landed on Harry's fingers. It was beautiful. It had beautiful black random stripes outlining the edge of its wings. There was, however a sight rip on the right hand corner. It flew away and Harry wondered what it meant.

Draco saw this, for a while, his eyes seemed to have softened but hardened again when the butterfly left.

"Fine," he said, standing up, "fine, Potter. I was getting tired of you anyway."

Harry said nothing. What was there to say? _Oh, you're right. I don't like you either._ Or _Oh__, wait! You're Draco Malfoy! I'm supposed to let _you_ dump _me_! Not the other way around!_ No, none of those were right. Especially for a situation like this. So he just watched Draco hurrying to put his clothes on.

As he was about to leave, Harry grabbed Draco hand.

"What?" Draco said, his eyes contained none but anger and abhorrence. His voice was hard and sharp.

"Here, take it," Harry said, he had handed him the paper bag, smiling, "it would be wrong for me to have it."

Draco had glared; his eyes full of anger. "Take it. It was a gift." He shook his hand violently to make Harry let go of it and left.

Harry was left. He plopped on the bed, it had taken every ounce of self-control he had to smile at Draco while handing him the bag. But he had wanted Harry to keep it. Harry looked up at the ceiling, he wanted to cry then. But he couldn't. He had promised. And… there were no tears left anyway.

Harry wasn't feeling so hungry then. So he went to the Dormitories. After a while, Ron went in the room with Hermione.

"Harry?" the two had said. "Are you okay?"

Harry wanted to tell them to go away then. But he knew his bestfriends long enough to know that they'd never leave him alone if he wasn't telling. "No," he had said.

Hermione and Ron looked at each other then back at Harry, looking concerned. They had asked why. Harry told them that he was seeing somebody, but he couldn't tell them who since he could already tell what their reaction would be if he did. The two lectured him about being honest and that he could tell them anything. Harry knew better than to fall for it.

"What about you two? Don't think I didn't notice." He had said.

Ron and Hermione smiled nervously and told each other that they were both seeing someone and that they could not tell who. And now they asked Harry about his problem because both of them seemed to have no problems anyway.

"Well, it's a bloke, you see," Harry had started; he paused to see their reactions.

Hermione said it was okay and perfectly fine. Ron said he agreed.

"And we, erm, were just supposed to have this purely physical relationship. No feelings and all kind, given our present situations."

Both nodded in encouragement. "But then, I noticed that I … was … I was feeling something for him. And it was against all the rules so I decided to break up with him. Because if I didn't, I knew I'd end up getting hurt because I know he doesn't like me the same way. And if I forced the feeling to go…well, it would be unlikely that it would go at all. But the night I had planned to break up with him, he gave me this present. So I thought he loved me but then he said a story about some girl and said that he was to marry her someday. I told him we should break up this morning and he went berserk."

Ron frowned and Hermione looked thoughtful. "What was the gift?" Ron asked.

"This," Harry said, taking the paper bag out of his trunk and he showed them the watch. Both of their eyes formed big O's as well as their mouths.

"Harry, he likes you, trust me. Nobody gives Golden Snitch watches around."

"Yes, that was my first thought but then he told me about the girl."

"How do you know he doesn't like you?" Hermione had asked.

"He doesn't look at me…_that_ way. Like I was the only person important in that simple moment. Like there was no one else in the world he'd rather love. There was no love in his eyes, there was no _true_ love, like warmth of passion that felt so… so right to be in. There was no shine, no glow, no … no love. There was no care that said _it's alright; I'll be here in times of good or bad_. No, there was none. There was something, I don't know what."

"I understand." Both said at the same time.

Harry got Draco's shirt under his pillow and hugged it. "That's Malfoy's shirt!" Hermione had exclaimed at once.

Ron looked at her a though he was asking her to please have made a mistake. He looked Harry then with a look that said, _please tell me she made a mistake_. Harry nodded.

"I saw him wear it three times in Potions, five in Charms and more than eight in Hogsmeade! I also heard Pansy talking about how it was soft and _very_ expensive. And, mind you, cheap for Pansy is _very_ expensive for us. He must really like you, Harry."

"No." Harry had said dully. "He fucks girls by day and forgets they exist in the morning."

The next day, Harry noticed that everyone in Hogwarts was bitten by the love bug. Everyone seemed to have someone in their arms or someone's head resting on their shoulder. Hermione and Ron had announced that they were dating Pansy and Blaise. Pansy for Hermione, Ron for Blaise.

These were one of the hardest days Harry had. What with Hermione going announcing that she was with Pansy and Ron announcing to be coupled with Blaise. Now, people were joking, "If Harry was with Malfoy, _then_ they'd be complete!" 

Harry looked at the two people beside him. Ron and Hermione looked so happy. And that day, he had also met both Pansy and Blaise which seemed funny and talkative once you get to know them. He found himself looking around the Great Hall and envying everybody. He felt alone. Harry remembered the sadness he felt then.

Ron and Blaise (according to what Ron told him a few days ago) had talked by the lake then and Ron told Blaise about Harry's problem, but not before Blaise told Ron Draco's.

"He seems…not _himself_ lately. He fucks fewer girls; actually, he seems to have lost the need for sex. It seems this girl's really important to him. When they broke up a few days ago, he was suddenly, like, you know, weak and out of himself. It's like he's been given the Dementor's Kiss. She's really important to him."

This got Ron thinking. Someone really important to Draco? Broke up a few days ago? Looks like he knew who _this_ lover was.

"One time, we even went to Hogsmeade, and he bought her a –"

"Gold watch with the Golden Snitch as the face." Ron had finished for him.

"How'd you know? I didn't tell you, did I?"

"No." Ron had replied with a sad smile. "Listen, Blaise. I know who Draco's been mourning on."

"Who?" Blaise seemed to have been intrigued.

"Harry Potter."

Blaise then seemed to have lost everything all together and fainted.

Hermione, weirdly enough, had the same, well, similar, conversation with Pansy. The two pairs agreed to helping each one find out he loves the other, and the other loves him back.

Harry didn't know what they told Draco but that fateful Tuesday evening, Hermione had confessed something about her relationship with Pansy and that it was not all butterflies. Harry remembered something. The butterfly, the one he saw the day he broke up with Draco. As if on cue, a butterfly swooped in and landed on Harry's Astronomy homework which he was doing before Hermione had asked him to think about going back with Draco. It was definitely the same one; he saw the little rip on the right hand corner. He heard the last words she said, "…but then she told me she loved me and hugged me tight, there was no doubt in her voice and I knew she loved me."

The butterfly flew out, and, for the first time, Harry let a tear fall from his to his cheek and onto the very spot the butterfly lay before flying out.

The next night, Harry got a letter via a brown eagle owl. Written on the folded parchment, was his name a rather loopy handwriting.

_Dear Harry,_

_I'm sorry for what I had said someday ago when we fought. I didn't mean it. Please let me talk to you with honesty one last time. Please meet me tonight at the room we always go to, you know the way. I have no idea if this is the last time we can talk or just one of those times that we do. I won't blame you if you don't want to go. It's alright. But, please, I'm sorry. Please let me make it up to you._

_Sincerely,_

_Draco_

Harry did not reply to the letter. He had a lot to think about. 

Finally, he had decided he would go since he hasn't got much to lose and everything to earn. He was late because Filch kept magically appearing out of no where and he had to be perfectly sure that he was gone before he would continue walking. He hadn't planned on what he was to say. Go with the flow was what he had planned.

He walked to the room, thinking that Draco had probably left. He looked up… to see the silver eyes of Draco Malfoy.

"I ―" he stopped, clearly, Draco wasn't ready then either. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for lying to you the past weeks. You see, I've been lying to myself, too; I've been pretending I still hated you. But I didn't, actually. I haven't for a while now. I don't know when it happened but somewhere along the way, I just… I fell for you, Harry. That's why I was so mad afterwards, when you broke up with me. I still didn't realize it at the time but I couldn't… I can't go back to the way I lived my life before because you aren't there."

Harry had stared. He remembered the feeling of his world fitting in each other like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle finally being finished. If there was an earthquake now, it was either he wouldn't have noticed it or he would have thought it was just his heart. Draco, on the other hand, took this as rejection.

"Sorry," he said, looking down, "I - forget I said anything. It's thick of me to think that you'd…" He had turned then, Harry felt as if Draco was dangerously close to tears.

"I'm sorry, Draco." Harry stated. He had walked closer to Draco.

"Don't patronize me, Potter." He turned to Harry then and tried to sneer his trademark sneer; he had failed miserably.

"I meant I'm sorry for having broken up with you. You weren't the only one lying to yourself. I've been a fraud, too. I was such a coward that I decided I would leave you before you would leave me. I guess I didn't know where I left my Gryffindor courage then, eh?"

There was a pause. A butterfly flew in again. And, miraculously, it had been the same one. The one Harry had seen when he had broken up with Draco, the one he had seen when he realized that he still did love Draco and that he couldn't push that feeling away. And now…it was here again when he was making up with Draco.

"You know Draco, you're like a butterfly." Harry had said, he held Draco's cheek then, warming the cold skin. "I could've lost you just as fast as you came…but then if you came back…how would I know it was you all along since all butterflies look the same?"

Draco had come closer to Harry too and the butterfly had flown to his fingers. Draco had smiled that wonderful smile. "You'd know, Harry. Because you're the only one that can fix the tear that I have."

The butterfly flew away and Harry had hugged Draco. Very tightly. When they had broken the hug, he looked at Draco and there it was! The look he was talking about…Draco loved him… and it was true.

Harry's mind went from the flashback onto reality. A butterfly flew to him. The same one.

"Did I fix your tear, Draco?" he asked the person sitting beside him.

"What?" Draco looked puzzled.

"Did I fix your tear? You told one night…the night we said we loved each other…you said I would know that you're you because you have a tear that I could fix. I was the _only_ one that could fix it, you said. Did I?"

Draco smiled at his lover and rested his head on his shoulder. "A long time ago, Harry. You fixed it a long time ago."

Harry showed Draco the butterfly. "Look, Draco, it's the butterfly…" it flew.

"Want some lunch now?" Draco said turning to Harry from Harry's shoulder.

Harry gave him a peck on the lips. "Sure."

When they entered the Great Hall, everyone was bitten by the love bug and it had been a long time since that happened.

But then, looking around at the people who were sitting beside their loved one, or those that had their loved ones resting their head on their shoulders, or on their laps, Harry didn't feel envious like he did a long time ago when he had broken up with Draco.

Why, though?

He looked across the Great Hall at the Slytherin table. He saw the reason why.

***

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